I am probably going to get a lot of flack for this but I thought I would have a little fun anyway, generalize a bit and quite possibly offend some of the liberals that read this blog; some of which are my friends and others, well…you know. The following ten tips are not true for all liberals of course, just some quick observations I have made throughout the 30 or so years of my life. Oh, and feel free to include your ‘top ten’ list for conservatives too, if you dare.
- They are driving a Prius or other trend-hybrid vehicle to satisfy their eco-snobbery
- Their car has multiple stickers on the back; namely, “Bush Lied and People Died” or something about “faith based missile defense systems”
- They are wearing a shirt with a “peace” sign; probably with several psychedelic colors and objects. Perhaps a Bob Dylan and/or Beetles shirt too.
- They have long, un groomed facial hair and they get emotionally bent out of shape when someone brings up President Bush
- Attend a Cindy Sheehan rally and you’ll be surrounded by them; most likely holding up anti-Israel signs and comparing the Bush Administration to Adolph Hitler
- Most likely employed by local, state, or federal governments that perform menial tasks
- They are wearing a tie dye shirt, a fanny pack, Birkenstocks most likely walking around an art & wine festival.
- Go to the Al Gore movie “Inconvenient Truth” and look around. Most likely you will be sitting right next to one.
- Most everyone in Portland; especially if they riding a bike or playing a musical instrument on the sidewalk, have several facial piercings and often shooting their mouths off about something ridiculous
- College Professors at Harvard, Columbia, and Berkeley who believe the US government is responsible for 9/11; YES, they are out there.
This list is by no means comprehensive. Please add to it as you see fit. Oh, and please spare the hateful comments. For the most part I am just joking and having a little fun; stop being so damn emotional.
Technorati Tags: liberal, liberalism, conservative
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Men with one to many cats are always suspect.
At least spell the Beatles correctly. If you are going to mock liberals or any others then the conservatives, at least try a bit harder to get the stereotypes right. We aren't all like that.
Becky...lol. Sorry. As you can see, I am not a big Beatles fan...and, I am just having some fun!
Michael
haha ... so very true.
Should have been titled "list of hackneyed stereotypes of liberals".
Could counter with a equally silly list of how to spot a conservative, things like, the rapture bumper stickers, their ditto head opinions, ect, but what would be the point aside from insulting people who are really my fellow americans, and although I might think they are missguided, I realize they are doing what they think is right. I believe that our shared country is in trouble, and perhaps this is a time to pull together rather than driving each other furthor apart, but you'll do what you want, good thing we aren't at war or anything.
Another symptom is illiteracy, - as demonstrated by the inability to use "then" and "than" correctly Becky.
CLASSIC...this totally made my day.
This is funny like Ann Coulter is funny. Like, not. And pointless. It's "not even wrong".
Dan - Ann Coulter is quite humorous but I don't get your point. Please elaborate.
great list!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooo laughing right now. I work in San Francisco and often travel to Portland....lol. I see this all the time.
Another way to spot a liberal? No sense of humor or ability to self-mock. Yes Monorail and Becky, I'm talking about you
They think it's hilarious to mock the current President, Vice President, Secretary of State, etc., but bare their teeth if you bring up facts supporting areas where the previous administration was truly (as in, via actual documentation) corrupt. And PLEASE, do not ever disparage or otherwise show your opposition to Hillary or Obama, as it is completely inappropriate in the eyes of a liberal to judge, question or badmouth anyone who is or might be considered A) female (unless it's Condoleezza Rice), B) African-American (unless it's Condoleezza Rice), C) gay, lesbian or bi-sexual (unless that person is a Republican), or D) of any religion EXCEPT Christianity or Judaism (Christians and Jews, of course, are expected to be belittled regularly).
They're probably Socialists and will tell you they don't mind paying extra taxes to have free health care. Of course, it's likely that they don't pay much in taxes as it is (at least, in my family). And by the way, they want that health care to include unlimited access to their favorite pet “birth control” method, better known as abortion.
They honestly think the debate about global warming is over, that Hillary and / or Obama possess leadership qualities, and that the media is biased ... against liberals (but honestly, I think that's just because Fox News and Rush are "allowed" to be on the air).
They believe the US is the bad guy in everything that is wrong with the world and that if we leave Iraq, peace will abound. So they are not only naive, they are dangerous.
"hackneyed stereotypes of liberals"? Maybe.
But isn't it odd that yours are stereotypes, while remarks like "poor, uneducated, and easily led" don't generally get that label.
One thing: Spelling and syntax are vital for credibility. As a poor, uneducated, and easily led person, I've learned to be quite careful. One must be careful about one's intellectual reputation, after all.
My responses:
1) **Funny**
2) Worth a Technorati "Favorite"
3) Must have been effective, seeing what fell out of the tree
10 Tips On How To Spot A Conservative
(Again, all in good fun)
-Driving an SUV or otherwise environmentally ridiculous gas-guzzling monstrosity
-Despite His entire lifestyle and point of his life, they think Jesus is a Republican and they frequently play this card to justify presidential actions ("That's God's man, God's president up there")
-They hold their morals, of course, above all else...except those Swiss bank accounts...oh, and those white-collar crimes...
-When little Johnny sneaks into his grandfather's arsenal and shoots up his elementary school, their mottos are "Give him the death penalty!" and "Guns don't kill people, people do."
-They get incredibly defensive any time George Bush is mentioned.
-Their bumper stickers include "Don't Mess With The U.S.", "Don't Be A Girlie Man, Vote Republican", a pro-Dubya sticker, and the ever-popular "God is a Conservative."
-Wearing a suit, tie, and a fake smile, with a Bible in their briefcase (that they haven't read in much detail lest it disband most of their worldview)
-They pass by the homeless people on the streets and change the channel on the Save The Children commercials, complete with a lecture to any nearby ears about how "those people just need to go get a job...why, I got my first job at age 15, and by the time I was 22 I was C.E.O. of my own company..."
-Characterized by a distinct inability to laugh at themselves. After all, if you mock a Conservative, you're mocking GOD, right?
-It is unlikely that they are able to see things like sunsets and paintings, because their view is constricted to only black and white.
Your list is funny, too. All in good fun. :*)
Have a great day!
c
10 Thing to Do, if You do Spot a Liberal
1. Say "Hi!"
2. Smile, or generally be congenial
3. Do a funny dance
4. Whistle
5. Paw at his/her breasts
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. You fill in these for fun!
Cate...
"-They pass by the homeless people on the streets and change the channel on the Save The Children commercials"
A conservative is much more likely to give to the needed on the street than a liberal. Not that there aren't exceptions to every rule mind you...
... I did laugh at yours too, btw.
I find many liberals to be:
1. Open-minded.
2. Caring.
3. Invested in world issues.
4. Questioning (rightly) of authority.
5. Considerate of diverse peoples and cultures.
6. Idealistically (un)motivated.
7. Creative and/or appreciative of artistic talent.
8. Free-spirited.
9. Accepting.
10. Good natured.
Whereas conservatives can often be described as:
1. Uncompromising.
2. Caring.
3. Grounded in immediacy.
4. Patriotic.
5. Proud of their own culture and background, and wary (rightly) of religions ripe with extremist sects, and cultures contrary to their way of life.
6. Pragmatically motivated.
7. Productive.
8. Morally-strict.
9. Steadfast.
10. Good natured.
There is nothing to say whether the pragmatist or the idealist is more correct in their world view, and it is rare that a government allows both to strive for their place in creating a free and true nation.
Where do I stand?
I'm pro-choice, though I believe that a woman makes her choice long before conception, and that abortion is amoral except in very narrow circumstances, such as rape or the endangerment of the life of the mother.
I believe in the separation of church and state, in that this is a democracy, and not a theocracy, but none the less founded on the ideals of Christian morality, to include the morality of most major world religions.
I accept the theory of evolution and also the hand of God in the creation of our world, and that God has set the parameters, or works within the boundaries, of the laws of nature, but also that modern science does not have a full understanding of the universe, and that science and faith are not mutually exclusive.
I see vast corruption of the intent of the law and our government on the part of both major parties. A major part of this degradation is financially and agenda driven. It is by the hard-working, diligent patriots and idealists, and through the grace of God, that our nation continues to flourish. Like my own religion, the people in government may not be perfect, but the form and ideals of our beloved government are top notch.
How can you NOT like the Beatles? That's one of the four requirements to be considered a mammal! Covered in hair, live born, mammary glands, AND a Beatles fan!!!
Ann Coulter is a flaming c*nt. And I'm not even a liberal!
Gods Don't kill people, People with Gods kill people!
Please don't judge me by my tie-dye! I just think the patterns are pretty. Really. (And I hate having to second guess wearing it for fear folks will mistake me for a liberal. Perhaps in the future I should only pair my tie-dye skirt with my "Peace Through Superior Firepower" t-shirt.)
It's unair to compare G W Bush to Hitler. Hitler's dad wasn't an arms dealer!
Yes Lowell, people with gods (plural) kill people spiritually.. So if they would just have 1 God, YHWH, all would be swell... From where does flow the stream from which existence itself has floated? What is the source of existence itself? Not matter, existence? Evolution? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Philosophically evolutionists are lacking, getting hung up on minor details, they miss the big picture.... So what is your theory of the origins of existence of ANY kind? Because physical matter cannot produce EXISTENCE... Why CAN anything exist? What made it so matter CAN be? OF course your answer will just be as biased as you claim that mine is... But in the end, you won't have one.
"If nothing can be known, then I cannot know that, therefor I prove that I know nothing." -Aristotle
http://www.buzzflash.com/anderson/04/10/and04053.html
I found this cartoon more accurate and funny, but still relevant.
Lowell...go away. You are not wanted here!! lol.
Cate - your list is so funny! I appreciate that you can have fun with us conservatives!!
10 Thing to Do, if You do Spot a Liberal - FROM ANDY
1. Say "Hi!"
2. Smile, or generally be congenial
3. Do a funny dance
4. Whistle
5. Paw at his/her breasts
My list
6. Hand him/her a tissue since they are always crying about something!
7. Refer him/her to a therapist
8. Call a priest so they can perform an exorcism
9. Give them some prozac
10. Bail them out of jail for protesting at a Cindy Sheehan rally!
I'm a liberal with a M.A. in English. I drive a Jag. Actually Conservatives used to be against government intervention; the definition has been skewed. Also it's "too" in "to many cats" because "to" is a preposition. If you're going to mock, try to use correct grammar.
Pardon the tears while I type this, my store ran out of Birkenstocks, and I think I got some tie-dye in my eye.
I'm really not sure why ideologues feel the need to vilify each other. I'm not particularly fond of conservatives at the moment, but I attribute that largely to the amount of mud-slinging that's become popular in the last few years. Politics has never been a pretty place, but in the last ten years or so it's gotten positively lethal.
I suppose that, given the way liberals dominated the political landscape for so very long, conservatives had to adopt a more extremist attitude in order to get attention. The natural liberal response was, "what? What the hell was that about?" Now we have conservative leaders in office who consider it their Constitutional right to lie to the nation in order to achieve their goals. We have other conservative leaders elected on moral platforms they themselves can't uphold. We have conservative pundits slandering political opponents as "flip-floppers" while they themselves shift stances to justify the means to their ideological ends. The hypocrisy is staggering, and yet the core conservative crowd maintains a cheerful, "everything is going according to plan, but liberals are still to blame" policy while public sentiment shifts away from them like an earthquake.
Seriously, folk. Polemicists like Ann Coulter are not helping to create a civil dialog between ideologies, they're just mocking each other and creating more hostility. The last thing we need is a jihad declared between conservatives and liberals.
gail - thanks for the grammar lesson. Maybe you should trade your Jag in for a Prius! : )
i find most 'liberals' are up-inflecting burb-billies.
Many people view the problem with the entire country as a simple Tug-O-War between liberals and conservatives. I think people of all persuasions would find it easier to work together if our current 2 party system did not require the allegiance of politicians to their party, over their allegiance to the general good of the nation. Abolish the influence of the 2 party system, and things would get much better much sooner. Abolish all campaign contributions. Rather fund a series of in depth, televised debates as well as single candidate questions and answer forums, and suddenly the special interest money doesn't decide our elections anymore. Let the people see each candidate in a federally sponsored series of 30 minute, televised, question and answer sessions rather than a few hundred 30 second sound bytes whose content is dictated by opinion polls. Have a panel of ordinary people ask the questions rather than today's political operatives so thinly disguised as reporters. Everyone on both sides of the Liberal - Conservative issue knows examples of these operative/reporters all too well on both sides of the spectrum. The constitutional protections of a free press assume that the truth is far more important than political agendas. Today's press on both sides of the political spectrum should remind themselves of that fact on a regular basis. Today, in the United States, we have the best press in the entire world whose point of view can be purchased by special interest groups. Again, the 2 party ( party allegiance above all else ) system has allowed this unhealthy influence of special interest groups to creep in. Change will not be easy; it will be difficult to say the least. But then again, neither will be our downfall be easy, it will rather be difficult to say the least. Know however, that difficult as a mere word fails to sufficiently describe our fate unless we choose to address our underlying problems.
http://www.gop.com/Media/df/DEMFACTS.swf
Gerald - thanks for sharing.
Lowell: Actually many people without Gods have killed people. Stallin, Mao, Pot were all Godless and killed over 100 million people. You need to read Santayana, he has some interesting things to say about not knowing your history.
Obviously you've probably not heard the beatles (well, actually George wrote it) song "Taxman"
who cares. The beatles sucked and so does their music.
Thanks for sharing
You forgot to mention the entire city of Madison WI...
Lots of automobiles covered with bumper stickers there.
@RGB
Really. I never would have guessed that!
After reading everyone's comment, I believe the best comment made has been:
Comment by Preston
July 20th, 2007 7:51 pm MyAvatars 0.2
I find many liberals to be:
1. Open-minded.
2. Caring.
3. Invested in world issues.
4. Questioning (rightly) of authority.
5. Considerate of diverse peoples and cultures.
6. Idealistically (un)motivated.
7. Creative and/or appreciative of artistic talent.
8. Free-spirited.
9. Accepting.
10. Good natured.
Whereas conservatives can often be described as:
1. Uncompromising.
2. Caring.
3. Grounded in immediacy.
4. Patriotic.
5. Proud of their own culture and background, and wary (rightly) of religions ripe with extremist sects, and cultures contrary to their way of life.
6. Pragmatically motivated.
7. Productive.
8. Morally-strict.
9. Steadfast.
10. Good natured.
I know how to tell if your neighbor is A liberal. They let there children run around the neighborhood day and night destroying property. Disrespect for adults have no fear of police. We cant spank them you know. If it feels good do it no matter how it my affect the community. They let the grass grow as tall as your head. They don't want to cut it because it might destroy the Eco system.
Liberals lie they say the are accepting of people they hate fat people and they hate religious people ,people that have any morals. They are not good natured they are rude . They have no consideration of other peoples feeling . If you don't look or weigh A certain way they hate you. They are vein people. If your not A vegetarian they hate you. If you are not in to drugs they hate you.. They are all around hateful people .